the other day, i watched Titanic for the first time. i was so moved that when i went to take a shower that night, i ended up singing Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On." i sand my little heart out. i sang to the high heavens themselves, like an angel. i was singing so well, the little blue birds flew through my window and started singing with me. a deer walked in and started listening to my beautiful pipes. by the time i got out of the shower, i had my own fan base of all the enchanted animals from the forest. i bowed in front of them and they applauded me. A couple of hours later, i walked outside to get the paper, and i was greeted by snow white. i said to her, "greetings! how may i help you?" her eyes turned bright red and she said in a demonic voice, "your voice stole the enchanted creatures from my forest! you must suffer!" she then pulled out a sword and attacked me. i pulled out my light saber and went to cut her sword in half. but it didnt work because she had excalibur. we battled for hours. we were bleeding all throughout our bodies, she lunged and she slashed and i blocked and i swang my lightsaber toward her evil demonic soul. I started to get tired and she started to win, and with one final swing of her sword, she knocked the lightsaber out of my hands. she leaned in toward me and said, " your soul shall perish to the deep depths of the underworld." she raised her sword to finish me off, when all of a sudden, brick from the movie anchorman threw a trident through her heart. He smiled, winked at me, and defeated the evil snow white. I said to him, "thank you, oh wise brick, for saving my life." he looked at me and said the most inspiring words i had ever heard, "your lucky my mermaid expired!" i will never forget those words. as i watched him ride off into the sunset on his furry tractor, my eyes began to tear. I said to myself, "that is the most beautiful and wisest man i had ever laid my purple eyes on." I will never forget the man, THE LEGEND, that is.... Brick Tamland!