last week, i bought a brand new sweater. i was very proud of this sweater and was walking down the street with an enormous amount of swag. when all of a sudden, i was grabbed from the shadows and knocked out. when i woke up, i was surrounded by ninjas. i asked them what they wanted and they responded " we are the league of the sweater ninjas. we own the best sweaters in all the land and we do not like how fancy your sweater is." i was immediately terrified knowing what they were about to do. they pulled out mustard and began to open fire. but they were unaware i already learned the art of the ninjas when i was a fetus in my mothers belly. i did a triple flip kick and dodged their oncoming bullets. i deflected their mustard back at the fancy sweaters they were wearing and defeated them all. i walked up to the head ninja, took off his mask, and found out it was none other than.... Elton John! i spared his life that day, but only because i love his song " can you feel the love tonight." so remember kids, when you try to sneak up on Commander James Quinlan, be prepared to get karate chopped in the face.